


hear you like a whisper (in the corner of my lovesick thoughts)

by crayonboxhearts



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, betty has a dilemma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9684392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayonboxhearts/pseuds/crayonboxhearts
Summary: If their first kiss had been soft, this one was tooth-achingly sweet.





	1. mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic in a while, i couldn't help it. title from ease my mind by hayley kiyoko. all errors are mine (sorry) & thanks for reading :)

 

 

Betty doesn’t ask Veronica about the kiss.

 

Under Cheryl’s harsh gaze and snickering murmurs from the others in the gym, Betty floats away. She slips so far into her own head it almost doesn’t register save for a light lingering pressure and the tell-tale feeling of waxy lipstick she’s sure has smeared bright red all over her mouth. She raises a hand to her lips and starts wiping. Then the next thing she knows, Veronica’s fiercely defending her (in a way that no one else ever has besides Polly) to a girl who back in New York would probably be her best friend.

 

“Why are you being so...nice?”

 

It’s a genuine question Betty expects to get some nonchalant answer to, but Veronica’s surprisingly honest. So much more real and warm than the persona Betty scoped out online before her student mentee had officially arrived. Excitement bubbles in her chest because maybe she had Veronica pegged totally wrong this whole time? _Maybe we could actually be friends_?

 

“See, that wasn’t so bad was it?” Veronica asks after Archie jogs away, out of earshot. “You just scored a date with your dream boy, girl.”

 

“But only because you’re coming too, you know that right?”

 

Veronica rolls her eyes.

 

“Okay, I promise once we get to the dance, I’ll give you two lovebirds some space...” she says looping her arm through Betty’s. Wiggling her eyebrows suggestively to match her tone, she adds “And then you can make your big move -”

 

“Which could either go really well or be a total disaster? Like what if he- ”

 

“How can he not, Betty? I mean _have you seen you?_ ”

 

  
*

 

  
Betty smiles all the way home and she feels so content and alive that it feels like a slap to the face when her mother marches into her room and starts her monologue about “girls like Cheryl and Veronica”. She almost feels herself floating away again, fists clenching and unclenching tentatively. Her palms are still tender. The tiny half-moon reminders of Cheryl’s mean words tether her to the ground and out of sheer reflexive, frustrated rage, she snaps back. _Veronica is nothing like Cheryl Blossom._

_  
_

  
She heads downstairs to the kitchen, stunned. She’s only known Veronica for what? A day? It only took a single school day for Veronica to seep into the cracks her mother keeps chipping away at, and that’s Betty’s first mistake. She let her in too much too soon.

 

(Because it all unravels just as quickly).

 

  
*

 

Seven Minutes in Heaven is the devil’s party game. _It has to be_.

 

Betty’s makeup is ruined before she’s fully out the Blossoms’ front door, she’s sure. Her face feels like it’s overheating and her dress feels entirely too tight all of a sudden. She strides home, tears pooling into her vision with each unsteady click of her heels on the pavement. _You were right Betty, you were so right_. Girls like Veronica only take and take _and take and take_. They plot and steal and claw their way to the top not caring about anyone they hurt. Why else would she agree to go into that closet when she _knew_? She knew how Betty felt. (Of course Veronica never really wanted to be her friend, Betty thinks).

 

She can’t sleep with Archie’s “I do love you Betty” and her mother’s “I warned you about that Lodge girl.” echoing in her ears. And every time she closes her eyes her mind conjures up all sorts of scenes of Archie and Veronica together. In the closet. Kissing. Hands twisting in each others’ hair, heated breaths between kisses. Then they pull apart and Betty’s in the gym again as Veronica whispers “Don’t freak out- just trust me.” And then they’re kissing, slow and soft. She wonders if Veronica kissed Archie the same way, if he had her lipstick smeared across his mouth like she had. Fresh tears threaten to fill Betty’s eyes, but there’s no way in hell she’s going to school tomorrow looking like a swollen eyed mess. So she rolls over and reaches for her phone.

 

_‘Veronica is the WORST kind of friend’_

_  
_

At least, according to Kevin - who’s equally outraged yet intrigued that Veronica somehow managed to kiss them both and upset the entire balance of things in one day. They don’t really dwell on it much because it turns out he had a wild night of his own.

 

  
Thankfully, Jason’s body being found quietens the gossip about the closet incident. But Betty’s heart aches just the same.

 

*

 

Veronica is somehow everything, and nothing she expects, all at the same time. Betty expects a predictable apology, she doesn’t expect the flowers and cupcakes that come along with it. _Girls like Veronica move on quickly, they find new friends to ruin_. Betty knows. But she can’t help but thaw when Veronica persists and even lobbies for Archie to be forgiven too.

It’s the way that Veronica runs after Cheryl without hesitation that changes Betty’s mind, though. That same kind of strength she felt that first day being around Veronica is what she desperately wants to tap into. The strength to stand up to her bullies but at the same time - with open arms- willingly comfort that same person when no one else would. It doesn’t take five minutes for her to decide she doesn’t want to miss out on that.

  
When they take down Chuck and his goons the week after, it feels like everything clicks into place. She’s _all in_ , no questions asked, and she lets Veronica know it. Together they begin to forge something that feels like it can’t be broken.

 

Betty’s never felt stronger.

 

*

 

Sometimes Veronica will catch her eye across the rec room or in class and they’ll smile at each other just because. Sometimes Veronica lets her gaze dip low to Betty’s lips and Betty can’t help but think about their kiss. The expression on Veronica’s face as she pulled away is etched into her mind so vividly, it makes her stomach flutter. She doesn’t think about it often with Archie and all the other murder stuff still lurking in the forefront of her mind. But when she does, sometimes she wonders if something like that would ever happen again. If it would feel the same. Because the first time wasn’t unpleasant at all, it was kind of _nice_? She keeps the memory tucked away in the back of her mind.

 

  
But then it does happen again and maybe Betty can’t stop thinking about it.

 

*

 

The next time they kiss is no less spontaneous. It’s also not for anyone else. Not really.

 

They’re pressed together to one corner of one of the Blossoms’ leather basement sofas, Veronica half sitting on Betty’s lap, arm thrown over her shoulder. Cheryl’s gone off somewhere with Josie, leaving her queued _Sleepover Jamzzz_  playlist on full blast, and Betty feels so light she could burst.

 

Sure it’s probably because she’s a little tipsy off some fruity drink Cheryl gave them, but so are half the other girls at the sleepover.

 

Veronica for her part is totally amused at Tina trying to launch pieces of Chex Mix into Ginger’s mouth right beside them. She stifles a snort making her nose crinkle and it draws all of Betty’s attention to her face, then not long after, to her lips. Tonight they’re a shade of deep maroon her mother wouldn’t let her be caught dead in. Veronica presses them together and all Betty can think about is how it would look smeared all over her own pale skin. On her lips. On her neck. And - _Oh_.

 

“I’m really wanna kiss you right now.” she blurts, heat shooting up her neck. _What the hell was that?_

_  
_

Part of her hopes her friend didn’t hear but Veronica turns her head, eyes immediately lowering to Betty’s lips too. “What?”

 

“I kind of want to kiss you right now. Would that be weird?” _Wouldn't it?_

 

“Oh my God, Betty!” Veronica gasps in mock surprise, then after a beat, “You totally can if you want to. I mean we already did that other time, it’s not a-” _It’s not a big deal_ Betty thinks, silencing Veronica with her lips.

 

Even though she’s the one making the move this time, her eyes (and her heart) still flutter uncontrollably at the contact. Veronica’s arm tightens around her neck, cupping her face with the other hand and Betty wills herself to stop being so damn nervous. She wants more than anything to be present in this moment. Veronica thankfully picks up on this and helps calm her. Her thumb swipes against Betty’s jaw and she relaxes into it this time, breathing out through her nose before sucking at Veronica’s bottom lip. If their first kiss had been soft, this one was tooth-achingly sweet.

 

Veronica tastes faintly like peaches and alcohol from the drink they’d been sharing and Betty can feel Veronica’s’ lips curl into a smile mid-kisses, like she’s enjoying herself and, _fuck._ It makes Betty lick into her hot mouth which she greedily accepts like it’s all she’s been waiting for. Betty’s sure her entire face must be red up to her ears at this point. Veronica’s right hand slides down to her neck stroking gently. The left sinks into the back of Betty’s hair, tilting her head back and anchoring her in a new position. Their lipstick must be all over each other’s mouths by now because their lips slide together so much more easily. The warmth of Veronica in her lap and the flick of her tongue against hers stokes the fire building in her bones. It’s hot and _wet_ and Betty can’t stop.

 

At the feeling of blunt nails scraping down her throat, Betty can’t help but buck; grinding her ass down on the sofa, praying that Veronica’s the only one that hears the sound that came out of her mouth. She wraps her arms around her tighter, pressing them as close together as possible. If there’s one thing she was certain of after this, it’s that Veronica’s a _really damn good_ kisser.

 

  
(Betty can’t help but wonder, briefly, if she had kissed Archie the same way)

 

  
Betty knows they’re surrounded by like ten other girls and the music’s still playing in the background but for the next two or so minutes (that somehow feel infinitely longer) it feels like they’re the only two people in the room, wrapped up on that couch. All she feels is Veronica. There are no catcalls, no whistles. It’s like no one even cares and it’s _great_. Until they hear Cheryl clear her throat loudly.

 

“Alright, let’s settle down ladies and lezzes,” she says, staring at them pointedly. “It’s movie time.”

 

Veronica rolls her eyes and swipes at the smudges left on the corners of Betty’s mouth before settling back comfortably on the taller girl’s lap, facing the TV. As the opening credits start, their hands find each other, slotting together perfectly. Betty’s pretty sure this doesn’t mean anything. It certainly doesn’t have to. They’re just friends who’re really comfortable with each other. She’s sure that by tomorrow, she’ll see Archie at school and her heart will start flip flopping like it always does. But right now- sitting with her hands entwined with Veronica’s on her lap- it feels like she’s burning up inside.

 

 

And that’s her second mistake.  
  


 

 

 


	2. mishaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so, yes, i've decided to make this a 3 (possibly 4?) parter and no, i don't know when i'll be posting the next one. 
> 
> as always: all errors are mine & thanks for reading.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Betty Cooper?”

 

 

Betty blinks, confused, as Kevin bodily stops her in her tracks in the hallway. He grabs her by the arm and steers them towards his locker. Taking a quick glance around he opens his locker and positions them behind the door, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Cheryl’s little gathering? Spill.”

 

 

“Uh good morning to you too, Kev.”

 

 

“Did your mother have a stroke or something? She actually let you go over there?” Kevin asks, incredulous. Betty can practically see the wheels churning in his head. “Wait - was it to _spy_ on them?”

 

  
Betty doesn’t meet his eyes. “I may have told her that I was staying over at Ethel’s.” she offers, readjusting her grip on the books in her hand. Things had been fine yesterday, but now reality was slowly sinking in. She lied to her mom and sneaked off to Cheryl’s with Veronica. And lying to her mom’s never ended well. “Veronica suggested it.”

 

  
Yeah, there’s no way using _‘She’s very persuasive’_ as an excuse is gonna fly with her mom.

 

  
“Speaking of you and V...” he continues in that sing-song tone of his. Now _that_ was slightly more concerning. _Did Cheryl tell everyone?_ “Rumor is you two were practically hoover-ing each other's mouths last night.”

 

  
A shiver runs up Betty’s spine and she forces a smile to keep herself from freaking out. “We w-where did you hear that?”

 

(Later Kevin explains that it went like this: Melody told Midge who told Moose who told him.)

 

  
“Who hoovered what now?”

 

  
_Of_ course, _Veronica would show up right now._

  
Kevin’s eyes light up in excitement and Betty pulls in her lips, sighing. She tries to signal Veronica by shaking her head but Kevin turns around blocking her completely. She curses the day Kevin got his growth spurt and suddenly developed broad shoulders. He heaves in a breath and Betty braces herself.

 

  
“Is there or is there not any truth to the rumor that you went full on Britney-Madonna at the VMAs with Betty last night?” he asks in one breath. Veronica’s eyes flit over to meet Betty’s and _God_ it’s embarrassing how hot Betty’s face gets just remembering it.

 

  
Then Veronica looks Kevin dead in the eye, quirks her perfectly sculpted brows, and curls her lips into the most cat-that-ate-the-canary smile imaginable.

 

 

  
“Oh. My. God. Alice Cooper is going to kill you.”

 

 

  
*

 

 

  
There’s no particularly pivotal moment where she fell madly in love with Archie. No coming-of-age teen movie revelation. It just _was_. It seems to Betty that her love for him had been planted there all along; deeply rooted and watered, nurtured and encouraged by friends and family (bar her mom). All coming to bloom as naturally as the roses in her mom’s garden. As inevitable as spring.

 

 

(She never really considered that he might not feel the same).

 

 

If Archie was spring, Veronica is warm summer rain pouring so heavily and unexpected that Betty feels like there’s a flood inside her.

 

 

Veronica is spontaneous sleepovers, trying new things at Pop’s, and sneaking into dance parties at _Innuendo_ (Kevin absolutely _adores_ her). She’s fun and exciting in a way Betty associates with the addicting freedom of summer. It doesn’t help that almost everything is effortlessly attractive about Veronica. So much so that Betty’s stomach still drops a little sometimes when she sees her with Archie. _How do you compete with someone like that?_   It’s great that it never turns into one (a competition).

 

 

When they found out about Archie’s affair with Ms. Grundy is when it started to sink in that maybe she didn’t know Archie as well as she thought. When she finds herself tracking over the smooth skin of Veronica’s thighs with her eyes during cheer practice, it starts to sink in that maybe she doesn’t even know _herself_.

 

 

(As time passes Betty starts to discover that maybe Veronica knows her better than anyone else).

 

 

  
*

 

 

  
Veronica’s crazy good at deflecting attention away from herself and changing the subject (‘It’s a gift,’ she remarked to Kevin once).

 

 

  
Betty’s so caught up in her personal crises, that she almost doesn’t notice Veronica’s growing withdrawn mood and - _God_ \- _what kind of friend did that make her?_ She couldn’t see what was going on with Archie and now this? Though it’s not like Veronica made it any easier. Veronica makes an effort to put the best bits of herself forward. Betty can see it each and every time she huffs out a pained breath, fighting not to go full Regina George on someone. It’s like she’s a plant trying to grow out of its pot and every time a new limb sticks out, it gets torn away sacrificially to allow the plants around it to thrive. She keeps helping everyone else with their traumatic episodes and messy emotions, but not once does she ask or expect anything in return. She doesn’t make it about herself. Now it’s like there’s a part of her that’s being walled off and Betty isn’t sure how to get through, or if Veronica will even _let_ her.

 

  
(Ironically, Betty’s the one on her way to reaching a point where she’s out of 'limbs' (and fucks) to give).

 

  
They’re sitting shoulder to shoulder against the headboard of Betty’s bed giving each other toenail jobs thankfully no one’s going to see when Betty decides to press her luck.

 

  
“It’s really nice what you’re doing for Cheryl.” she says, hazarding a glance to her left.

 

  
Veronica’s humming along to the song on the radio, dipping and applying her signature black nail polish to Betty’s left big toe. She drags the brush back and forth with so much concentration, Betty’s almost sure she didn’t hear her until she re-caps the bottle. She pulls up her legs and wraps her arms around them.

 

 

  
“Six months ago, I _was_ Cheryl.” Veronica intones before adding, “I was the most snobby, heinous _bitch_ you could ever imagine. I didn’t care about what I said to people, or how they felt...I didn’t have any friends,” Veronica makes a point to look at Betty, “...not real ones anyway.”

 

 

  
It’s not really brand new information -Veronica’s mentioned it before- it’s just that, Betty didn’t ever think it was _that_ bad. At least Veronica had a mother who loved her unconditionally and no siblings to be trapped in the shadow of. Also she had money. And _freedom._

 

 

  
“I got the complete opposite impression from your Instagram page.”

 

 

  
Veronica snorts. “Girl, please - that’s just a carefully curated _lie_  full of ‘Rich kids of Instagram’ doing wild shit for the ‘gram. I honestly don’t even I know half their names.”

 

 

  
She rests her chin on top of her knees, room falling quiet again before she adds, “That picture I posted of me and my mom the other day? That’s real.”

 

 

  
Betty mirrors her position, only resting her head sideways to look at Veronica. “How’s she holding up by the way?”

 

 

  
“I’d say better than I am, but I know that’s not true. I know she’s just trying to protect me.”

 

 

  
Betty knows she’d go crazy if her dad wasn’t around. She can’t imagine how Veronica must feel with her father locked away in a cold cell somewhere miles away. Never having the chance to say goodbye, not being able to hear from him. Until she remembers sobbing uncontrollably on the couch while her parents tried to explain why Polly’s stuff was gone and yeah, she does kind of know how it feels.

 

 

  
“When- uh, when Polly got sent to the home...” There’s a tremble-y croak to Betty’s voice that she hopes doesn’t give way to tears, but she continues anyway, “My parents kept telling me everything was going to be fine...but I could just tell how upset they were. And I guess I ended up pushing everything - all those bad feelings- down, trying to be strong for them. To be strong for Polly...”

 

 

  
Betty rests her hand on Veronica’s between them on the bed, letting out a shaky breath. “But I’ve realized that all that does is make things worse. You’re _allowed_ to share your feelings, Veronica. If not with your mom, then at least with me..." she rubs her thumb over the back of her hand  "I’m here for you. For real.”

 

 

 

Betty’s sure she feels the sticky wetness of tears on Veronica’s cheek as the other girl bumps their shoulders together, leaning over to press a warm kiss onto hers.

 

 

“I’m here for you too, B.”

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“You’ve re-read that same sentence like five times now.” Jughead deadpans from across the room.

 

He’s slumped over backward on a chair with his arms crossed as he sighs. Swiveling over slowly, he rests his chin on the desk right beside where Betty’s typing. She’s trying her best to finish reading the article one last time before it hit print.

 

 

“I’m gonna make a wild stab and say this has something to do with Veronica?”

 

  
Betty frowns at the screen. _That’s not how ‘exuberance’ is spelled_. “No,” she says distractedly, “I’m just really tired, Juggie.” Truthfully her mind was still in overdrive trying to figure out if what Veronica had done was intentional or not.

 

 

“Uh huh...” he nods, peering over his hands, “So this has _nothing_ to do with what happened today at lunch? You looked kinda freaked.” (What happened today at lunch being Veronica accidentally(?) kissing her on the lips in greeting. Out in the open).

 

 

“I turned my head too fast -it was an accident.” At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself. “No big deal.”

 

 

“Apparently not _that_ much of an accident, since that seems to be all you two keep doing lately.” he fires back sarcastically.

 

 

_Jesus. Did everyone really know?_

 

 

Jughead fishes a lollipop out of his pocket and unwrapping it, sticks it in his mouth. The room becomes silent, save for the tapping of Betty’s fingers on the keyboard, before he replies - almost as if he can read her mind - “It’s a small town Betty, you know how it is. People talk.”

 

 

  
Sometimes she wishes they didn’t.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Much like the office of the Blue and Gold and the slightly dog-eared pages of her diary, Veronica’s room becomes a sanctuary. A place where Betty can unload without her mother’s smothering overly self-righteous presence. It’s also where she finds herself going one evening after an argument gets particularly bad and Archie _just doesn’t understand_ but Veronica does. And she’s there with open arms (even if her eyes aren’t completely).

  
Make-up free, Veronica looks so much younger and smaller here in this massive muted coloured room, Betty just wants to hold her. For all her mother’s harshness, their house still had warmth. The Lodge apartment seems cold and empty in comparison. But Betty doesn’t mind because Veronica’s warm and they’re cuddled up on her duvet watching some cheesy Lifetime movie and it’s nice.

 

  
“Out of _all_ the guys she’s met so far, she sleeps with _him_ on the first date? Gross.” Veronica scrunches up her nose at the main character making out with a rough looking older man.

 

 

  
“Says the girl who kisses people by surprise the same day she meets them.”

 

  
Betty jabs her with an elbow before starting to tickle her and Veronica lunges, rolling them over. “Only people who are hot that I like. At least I have standards!” she squeals trying to tickle Betty back.

 

  
“Ronnie, you know you shouldn’t be up this late on a school night.”

 

  
They both hear Hermione’s voice before they see her, hand on her hip by the doorway. _How long had she been standing there and when did she even open the door?_   With Veronica sort of resting on top of her and their hands trapped between them trying to poke each other, it doesn't exactly look innocent. 

 

“I know, mom.” Veronica, scoots over and lifts the duvet pointedly putting one leg after the other before shutting off the TV, giving her that signature ‘there, happy?’ smile. “We’re going to bed now.”

 

  
“Thanks for letting me stay over tonight, Mrs. L,” Betty says as she follows suit. She slides under the covers making sure to leave some friendly space between her and Veronica (because the number of times Hermione’s walked in on them in semi-compromising positions refuses to go down).

 

  
Hermione only nods in response, looking pretty exhausted herself. “Goodnight girls.” she says and flips off the lights before shutting the door as quietly as she opened it.

 

  
Once she’s gone, Betty rolls over and nudges Veronica.“Do you think your mom would consider adopting me?” she asks, fingers curled into the sheet in the space between them.

 

  
Veronica’s sleep-heavy eyes are the darkest thing in the room when she opens them and looks at her. So dark Betty tries to look everywhere but directly into their depth.

 

  
Her lips tug up at the corners, amused, before she murmurs “Well, if not we could always get married...” she lets the comment hang between them and Betty wishes the sheets would swallow her whole. Maybe Veronica does too because Betty sees her eyes cast downward, the dim light from the window dusting over her dark eyelashes. “Then technically she’d have to be your mom, with you being my other half and everything.”

 

  
Betty’s heart lurches in her chest, pulse pounding all the way up to her ears. _My other half_. _Was that how she really felt?_   Veronica’s always good at saying ridiculously sweet things and Betty never really knows how to take them. Neither of them say or do anything, but Betty wishes she had some kind of witty comeback. Something sweet to say back instead of turning into a shy mess. But she’s been a mess at saying things lately; words and thoughts crashing together into a mess of impulsive actions. (Like breaking into people’s cars and spying on her parents). Right now, all she can do is stare at the small freckle she’s never noticed before, sitting right on Veronica’s collar bone. She’s close enough to touch it but it’s her lips that twitch at the thought.

 

Without thinking, Betty leans forward, lips ghosting over the little speck, and she hears Veronica’s breath hitch. Then she feels Veronica’s hand wander a trail up her back to tease at the base of her neck, tangling in the hair there. Betty holds her breath, waiting, but Veronica doesn’t do anything but hold her to that same spot. Betty shuts her eyes tight, breathes out and decides to test her boundaries. Leaning up she brushes her lips in a diagonal line up Veronica’s throat till the ends of her pitch black hair prickle her face. She presses a trembling yet firm kiss there and Veronica’s hand in her hair flexes involuntarily, the other grasps at her too tight t-shirt. Veronica tilts her head down then and their noses brush, their eyelashes fluttering together like the butterflies Betty’s been feeling swarming in her stomach for the last minute. She swears every time they do this, it’s different, even though it’s not. Their lips brush tentatively at first, before Veronica claims her top lip, swiping at it with the barest hint of tongue. Betty hugs her close and their knees bump together in passing, legs tangling together in the heat of the covers. They stay like that, sighing softly into each other, exchanging kisses until Betty doesn’t remember falling asleep.

 

  
It feels so much like a dream that when Betty wakes up to a half empty bed the next morning, she isn’t exactly sure that it wasn’t.

 

 

(But like everything else Veronica did, the memory lingers).

 

 

 


	3. jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always all errors are mine, thanks for reading :)

 

 

Some days Betty doesn’t feel like she’s there.

 

 

It’s almost as if everything that’s happened since the end of the summer is part of some bizarre dream (or to be more accurate: a _nightmare_ ) she can’t wake herself from. She’s pretty sure she’s experienced sleep paralysis before and it was awful; heart nearly pounding out of her chest when she opened her eyes and tried to move her body but couldn’t. It feels like that now except flipped. Sometimes she feels like her body’s there going through the motions but her mind’s just gone, blank, _empty_. She’s not sure which is worse. She hates how easy it’s becoming to divorce certain thoughts completely as if they never happened. Now it’s like a piece of herself disappears every time her parents try to feed her what they think she wants to hear, what they think she _needs_ to hear. Regardless of this, or in spite of it, she’s thought of little else besides  _Polly_.

 

  
She tightens her high pony, smoothing her hands down the front of her knitted baby pink top before she catches sight of herself in the mirror. She sighs, fingers circling at the corners of her eyes. They’ve seen better days, though they aren’t as swollen as they were weeks before. Her half empty bottle of Adderall sits on the sink and she reaches for it, realizing she’s lost track of when last she actually consistently took any. If her mom ever found out she’d probably force them down her throat herself. (It occurs to her, though, that maybe subconsciously acting out against Alice was only making herself worse).

 

  
Still, as she heads down the stairs with her books, she smiles. She smiles thinking of the people that make getting up every morning and going to school worth it. She thinks of Kevin’s face journeys as he details his secret rendezvous with Joaquin, of Archie’s eyes and the warm smile he gives her as they walk to school together. She thinks of Jughead’s hands as they rest softly, comfortingly, on her shoulder in support; thinks of Veronica by her side, building her up in ways that make her feel like she can take on the world.

 

  
_Slay your_ _dragons_ , _Betty Cooper. One by one._

 

 

  
Amidst all the chaos and confusion, she thinks of them and she feels _love_.

 

 

  
*

 

 

“‘Sup, Cooper?”

 

  
Betty looks up to see one very tall Reggie Mantle, leaning against the open door of the Blue & Gold.

 

  
“Reggie, hi...” she blinks in confusion. It’s not that Reggie and her hate each other or anything because they’ve spoken and hung out before a bunch. But that pretty much always involved Archie and Archie wasn’t here right now. So it's a little weird. 

 

 

“What can I help you with?”

 

 

Reggie smirks. He pulls up a seat, spinning it around to sit reverse cowboy with his football in his lap.

 

  
“I’m here to give you your next headline.” he stretches his arms out dramatically before booming in that deep voice of his, “‘ _Mantle the Magnificent leads the Bulldogs to Championship Victory!_ ’”

 

  
“Um, typically you have to actually win first before I can write that.”

 

  
“Well as team captain I can tell you we’re gonna kick some _serious_ Southside ASS next week, so jot that down. Quote it.”

 

  
“Is that all?” Betty asks, humoring him by writing it down on her pad. Reggie rolls up a little closer to the desk, glancing back at the door before continuing.

 

 

“Actually there is something else I wanted to ask you.” he lowers his voice, leaning in. “Veronica. She seeing anyone right now?”

 

  
That throws Betty for a loop so hard she almost drops her pen. Veronica’s been there this whole time and he’s never really shown any interest before. She doesn’t even think she’s seen them speak.

 

 

“Wha-why are you asking me?”

 

 

“We danced together the other night at Innuendo and we vibed. She was definitely feeling The Mantle - I mean honestly, who wouldn’t?”

 

 

  
“Right...” she nods. Betty can’t believe that 1. Reggie Mantle of all people parties at Innuendos, and 2. Kevin and Veronica didn’t tell her about this.

 

 

“I figure she’s probably still pissed about the Chuck thing so...could you like, put in a good word for me?”

 

 

Reggie’s being more decent than she’s used to and it’s kinda weird but also kinda funny. Typical Veronica, going around charming half the school and not even realizing it.

 

 

“Sure.”

 

 

“Sweet.”

 

 

 

*

 

 

It’s somewhat serendipitous that Archie’s sitting two booths over with Valerie at Pop’s when Betty realizes she really might not care that much about him returning her feelings. Not very long ago she had felt utterly devastated- heartbroken even- at his non-response to her tearful admission that she was in love with him. She felt so much for him that it’s almost embarrassing in hindsight how she had pictured things in her head. (How desperately she’d wished to be in the exact same position as Valerie right now). She can’t really tell from here, but she almost sure they’re sharing a milkshake from the way Archie’s slightly bent forward in his Letterman jacket, arm up on the table. Valerie’s eyes are piercing blue-green under the bright red and pink neon lights glancing at Archie in front of her. It’s like they’re in their own little world, completely oblivious to the ever-darkening shadow of Jason’s murder looming over the town, threatening to consume it.

 

In that moment she kind of does wish that was her.

 

 

“Are you gonna finish that?” Jughead asks, snapping her out of her haze.

 

 

She shakes her head, pushing the plate with her half-eaten burger to him as he pops three more fries into his mouth. He’s careful not to get any ketchup on his keyboard as he sits up slightly and tracks Betty’s line of sight over his own shoulder to Archie’s booth behind them. They can hear what faintly sounds like laughter and Betty’s pretty sure they’re holding hands on the table now.

 

  
“The living embodiment of Netflix’s romance section.” she mutters as she sips her soda.

 

 

Jughead settles down in his seat, turning his head back round with a half amused, half disgusted grimace.

 

  
“Can’t relate,” he says around another bite of his burger. “Though, re-constructing a murder board seems pretty romantic to me.” he waggles his eyebrows and Betty can’t help but laugh.

 

  
The door to Pop’s opens with a ring then, Josie stepping through with Melody and Veronica in tow. They’re in different shades of unconsciously coordinated red, all dark hair and jewelry and _legs_. They turn in the opposite direction to Archie and Valerie’s booth. Jughead doesn’t spare them more than a glance before returning to his laptop but Betty’s gaze lingers. She can’t tear her eyes away from Melody’s arm around Veronica’s shoulder that doesn’t move even as they slide onto the seat beside Valerie. They lean in close, heads nearly touching as Melody says something, fingering the trinket hanging from Veronica’s necklace. Betty sees the way Veronica’s lips curl into a slow smile and her eyes trail up the other girl’s face while she's talking. Josie’s talking to them too, but from where Betty’s sitting it all looks strangely intimate.

 

 

  
She must be frowning or something because Jughead breaks from his work to shoot her a concerned look. Her stomach squirms.

 

 

 

  
(She convinces herself it’s because she never finished eating her burger because she can’t bear to think otherwise).

 

 

 

*

 

 

“Okay, I think this is it.” Veronica announces, emerging from her closet. She’s in a tight little navy blue dress that shows off her legs and Betty’s breath catches in her throat.

 

“Wow.”

 

  
“I really need to start laying off the cheesy fries.” Veronica murmurs. She twists in front of her full-length mirror, tugging at the waist of her dress with a frown. “Are you sure? ”

 

 

“Yes. Please, you look hot in literally anything, V.”

 

 

Truthfully, Betty hasn’t really been paying attention to the outfit changes so much as she’s been laying flat on her back on Veronica’s bed with her arms thrown over her eyes, but she’s sure that even all the ones she didn’t see looked good.

 

 

“Where did you say you were going again?”

 

 

  
Veronica rolls her eyes. “Betty, I told you. I kind of have a date tonight.”

 

 

  
“Wait it’s not...Reggie, is it?” Betty asks. Just to make sure.

 

 

“ _Pfft,_ no.”

 

Betty sits up on her elbows. She’s almost tempted to ask if it’s Archie but Betty knows he’s way too wrapped up in Val to even know what day it is let alone ask Veronica out. Kevin couldn’t get it out of her at lunch, no matter how hard he tried so Betty’s still not sure who it could be. Veronica turns around looking mildly annoyed with the thin silver chained necklace in her hand.

 

  
“Can you help me put this on? The clap’s kind of tricky.”

 

  
Betty pads over behind her, taking the necklace and setting it in front of Veronica’s neck while Veronica holds up her hair. The clasp really is tricky, Betty discovers when her fingers keep fumbling and slipping off of it. When she finally gets it on, Veronica adjusts it, bringing the charm to hang in the center and Betty’s eyes fall to the small kitten shaped charm with a pearl creating most of its body. This must have been the necklace Melody was looking at the other day.

 

 

  
“That’s really pretty,” Betty says, touching it absently.

 

 

“Thanks.”

 

 

Veronica's hand covers hers over the charm and their eyes meet in the mirror. Sometimes Betty’s struck by how they look together, and this time is no exception. They’re an oddly beautiful contrast with Veronica in her deep blue and Betty in her soft baby blue. Also, Veronica’s dressed up and looks gorgeous while she looks like she just rolled out of bed. Betty can feel Veronica’s heartbeat reverberating through the hand covering hers at her chest. _Was she nervous?_ Betty drops her hand. She takes both her hands this time to rub Veronica’s upper arms in encouragement. Betty realizes the last time she formally went out with someone, it didn’t end well. Maybe that’s why Veronica didn’t want to give out more details.

 

  
But Betty feels she’s gotten to be a pretty good enough detective to put two and two together. And if her gut feeling is right, she knows exactly who Veronica’s meeting tonight.

 

 

“I hope you have a great time on your date.” she smiles, though it doesn’t quite meet her eyes.

 

 

It’s the last thing she wants to feel but she can feel the unease seeping into her stomach. For some reason, she can’t help but feel jealous.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've already left kudos feel free to leave a comment or hit me up on tumblr @crayonboxhearts. part 4 is coming soon :)


	4. journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all errors are mine & thanks for reading :)

 

 

 

  
“Hey,” Archie greets, setting his guitar down carefully on the rec room table. Betty stops talking as Kevin and Jughead look up at him.

 

  
“I miss anything?”

 

“Only _everything,_ ” Kevin replies.

 

Betty stifles her laughter at the partially confused but mostly offended look on Archie’s face as he shoots Jughead a pleading look. She elbows Jughead who’s trying to stifle his own amusement and he only offers Archie a shrug as their friend sits opposite them. Archie tries to hide it but Betty can see the subtle way his face drops when he sees her and Jughead’s fingers intertwined on her lap.

  
(She’d be lying if she said she didn’t get even a little bit of a kick out of it.)

  
A few minutes later, Veronica glides into the room like she owns it; pearls on full display, dark, perfectly manicured nails wrapped around her usual morning latte. She’s in another one of her dark colored dresses from her seemingly endless collection with appropriately dark red lips to match. She’s not wearing the other necklace, Betty notes. But she’s in a really good mood so Betty assumes her date went well.

  
Veronica wiggles in beside them on the couch to Betty’s right, hand coming to rest on her and Jughead’s, still in her lap. “Hey,” she says softly, catching Betty’s eyes. She smiles and Betty ducks her head, quickly glancing sideways at Archie. If he wasn’t confused before, he sure as hell must have been now by the look on his face.

 

Kevin sits forward in his chair. “How was your date? Tell me everything,” he says excitedly, and Archie looks even more surprised for some reason. _Someone seems jealous_ , Betty thinks.

 

“You went on a date, Ronnie?”

 

Veronica’s crosses her legs, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder. Her eyes are alight. Sometimes she’ll get this look in her eyes and her voice takes on this tone and Betty can tell she’s witnessing glimpses of the old Veronica. A self-satisfied queen holding court with her followers, absolutely thriving off the attention. Kevin _lives_ for these moments and it’s so amusing, Betty’s not offended in the slightest that she’s not the only light of his life anymore. Veronica just has that effect on people.

 

“I don’t kiss and tell…” she teases, “but on a scale of Chuck Clayton to ten, I’d give it an eight.” A pause. “Or nine.”

 

Kevin’s smiling so wide Betty swears she can see all thirty-two of his teeth, Jughead’s slowly trying to crawl off the couch to make his escape from this whole conversation while Archie’s pretending to read his phone.

 

“ So uh, where-where’d he take you?” Archie asks, looking up.

 

“I didn’t think there was anywhere remotely romantic in this godforsaken town, but **_she_** took me to her secret spot.” she smirks, “That’s all I’m gonna say.”

 

Veronica takes a sip of her latte as if she didn’t just drop a bomb on them and Betty feels her blood rush all the way up to her ears. _She_. There’s a part of her that wishes she didn’t hear it because now her mind’s conjuring up images of Veronica kissing some faceless girl. A girl that’s not her. She remembers how Veronica’s lips felt that night that might have well been a dream, how smooth her skin felt under her hands. It unfurls all the little things she had carefully tucked away in the back of her head and she tries to blink them away.

 

Across the table, Archie looks completely shell-shocked while Kevin looks like every holiday imaginable just came early.

 

  
Jughead sits back down.

 

 

“Well this just got interesting.” he says, spreading his arms over the back of the couch.

 

 

 

*

 

 

  
Later she and Kevin get the details about the date, but only after he exhausts the list of girls at Riverdale High that he feels might not be totally straight. (Partially based on social media, mostly based on his ‘gaydar’). Betty doesn’t know how he has the time to keep track of all these things.

 

Really she’s just trying to read and Kevin’s the one carrying out the inquisition, but it’s easier this way. There’s kind of this unspoken thing between her and Veronica. Betty _knows_ she likes girls. She’d been pretty sure at least, even before the second time they kissed. She doesn’t know if she’s thankful or frustrated that Veronica hasn’t broached the subject.

 

“Samantha.”

 

  
“No.”

 

  
“Ginger?”

 

  
“Hmm, warm.”

 

  
“Cheryl!”

 

  
Veronica laughs. “She wishes.” Betty’s honestly shocked because Cheryl was her first guess. She’s the one that seems eager to get close to Veronica.

 

  
Kevin groans.

 

  
“You enjoy torturing me don’t you?”

 

  
“Think. Who else do I hang with apart from you guys?”

 

  
Kevin flops over on his back and Betty nearly falls off her bed. With Veronica there, there’s way less space on it but at least she’s there to keep Betty from falling whereas Kevin would just let her drop. After Veronica reaches out to steady her, she goes right back to typing away on her phone.

  
The pale blue of Veronica’s iPhone screen highlights her cheeks as she types. While Kevin’s probably wondering who she’s texting, Betty keeps wondering how someone can look so soft and she has to stop herself from staring too long.

 

“Aha!” Kevin exclaims suddenly, “It’s Josie isn’t it?”

 

She’s Betty’s next guess since they _have_ been spending a lot of time together lately. Veronica looks up from her phone, a single eyebrow cocked.

 

“You were all over each other at the club that time. I saw those looks-”

 

 

“That’s what Reggie told me,” Betty interjects, “... but about _himself_.” Kevin laughs out loud.

 

 

“No, it’s not Josie, but you’re getting hotter.”

 

 

“Not Josie, Val’s out…” Kevin murmurs to himself before gasping, “Melody? As in Melody Valentine?”

 

  
Veronica nods.

 

  
_“ME-OW!”_

 

  
Smiling, Veronica shows them a picture of her and Melody from the other night. They look beautiful together, of course. It’s kind of dark but Betty can make out soft Christmas lights strewn up behind them and what looks like cushions on the floor. So yeah, it looks pretty ‘romantic’ as Veronica had described. She sits up straighter, remembering how cozy they looked that time at Pop’s. _Melody. Duh. How did she not notice it?_

 

 

 

*

 

 

  
“Kev, I need to tell you something,” Betty sighs, wringing her hands. “You might need to save me from _me_.”

 

  
Kevin grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before sitting next to her on the Keller’s grey-green sofa.

 

  
“Betty, you’re a doll,” he rubs her back soothingly, “I’m pretty sure the only person you need saving from is Mommie Dearest.”

 

  
She laughs at that, but it sounds fake and hollow. She keeps knotting and re-knotting her fingers together as if they’ll disappear if she doesn’t keep feeling them. It’s been harder and harder to stay present and undistracted, but she knows she has to talk to someone about this before she explodes. She sighs again.

 

  
“What’s wrong?”

 

  
“This is - surprisingly not Blossom-Cooper maple blood feud or murder related -”

 

  
“Is it Jughead? Archie? _Veronica?_ ” he asks, voice laced with concern.

 

  
“All three actually.”

 

  
At that, Kevin turns down the TV and re-positions himself to face her, hand resuming its slow circles between her shoulder blades. Betty takes a shaky breath before speaking.

 

  
“Well, you already know about me and Juggie so...there’s _that_. Then Archie was being really sweet, consoling me the other day and I almost _kissed_ him, Kevin - well not almost,” she corrects, “But I kind of _wanted_ to? And Veronica...”

 

  
“And Veronica...” he coaxes. Betty takes a deep breath, screwing her eyes shut. _This is it, no more skirting around the issue_.

 

  
“Veronica and I have maybe kissed a lot more than people think and...maybe I like it?”

 

 

The room falls silent. She doesn’t open her eyes, she isn’t even sure she can with how tense she feels. Her whole body feels stiff, limbs locked into place tighter than her father's car's lug nuts. A cavernous hole-like feeling deepens in her stomach. Then she feels Kevin’s jean clad legs bump hers as he scoots closer to envelop her in his arms, squeezing gently.

 

 

“Oh, Betty...”

 

 

She leans her head against his chest, trying not to cry. She really does wonder if there’s something wrong with her.

 

(Not that she thinks there’s something wrong with maybe not being straight. It’s not that.)

 

 

It’s the way her parents (her mother especially) make her question her and Polly’s sanity. It’s the way she’s been responding to being overwhelmed by feeling when she can’t find the words, like some kind of affection-starved person.

 

  
It’s the quiet, haunting echo of _kiss him,_ _kiss her_ lurking in the corners of her mind when they’re there and she’s at her lowest and most confused. It’s the way that sometimes she lets herself give into it, even when her the rest of her feels miles away like’s it’s not even her doing it. Sometimes it’s like there’s a flipped switch that makes her act the opposite; so laser-targeted on what’s in the forefront of her mind, she almost completely ignores everything else. Like eating three square meals a day, or sleeping.

 

  
(It’s the fact that she really does care about them and they’re her friends and the last thing she wants to do is upset anyone).

 

 

“There’s  _nothing_ wrong with being confused, there’s nothing wrong with maybe liking more than one person at once-” Kevin says.

 

  
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

 

  
Betty wishes she could believe him.

 

 

*

 

 

  
Polly staying with the Lodges means Betty has the perfect excuse to be over there more often (which she takes full advantage of since the only merit to being at home right now is Archie and Jughead being mere meters away next door). That and she hardly feels comfortable around her parents anymore.

 

It also gives her time to just be with Veronica. Just B and V, not two girls caught in a web of lies, murder, and fraud.

 

  
Once Polly’s gone to bed they retreat to Veronica’s room, making sure to shut the door properly this time. A right Veronica lobbied for by pulling the ' _you're such a hypocrite'_ card on her mom. It’s not like they’re _doing_ anything, but Betty still can’t shake the fluttery feeling she gets when Veronica gives her her undivided attention.

 

 

Admittedly, they’ve been good about keeping their hands -and lips- to themselves since that other time. (And since, you know, it’s not like they like each other that way (obviously) and several other people have shown interest so they’re being mutually supportive about it. No big deal.)

 

  
Betty stares up at the ceiling with her arms outstretched just breathing. The steady _thump-thumping_ of her heart reverberates in her ears between breaths. Veronica’s laying on her back with her head on Betty’s belly, body angled the other way. Every time she makes a sound or says something in reaction to a picture on Instagram Betty feels it vibrate up her whole body. She doesn’t know why but it’s oddly calming so she closes her eyes and keeps listening.

 

  
“Ugh, I can't wait to get out of this depressing town,” Veronica remarks, pushing her phone away from her in a huff.

 

  
“Get in line V, not even my parents want me here.” Betty exhales, “Mom can’t wait to ship me off to Princeton.”

 

 

“You should come with me to New York sometime,” she says. quieter. She rolls over, folding her arms on Betty’s hips before resting her head on them.

 

 

The movement makes Betty’s shirt shift up and the cool air on her skin makes her stomach dip. Eyes still unopened, she tries to keep her breathing steady. She’s not sure she can handle Veronica looking at her from that angle.

 

“There’s _SO_ much I wanna show you...”

 

“Like?”

 

“Like this-” Veronica lifts her head, presses her mouth to Betty’s exposed skin and blows a big raspberry.

 

 

Betty shoots up almost immediately, nearly doubling over. Veronica giggles and does it again, poking her this time till Betty squirms so hard she nearly kicks her off her. When they lie back down breathless from quiet laughter, Veronica inches up the bed some more, closer to Betty’s face.

 

  
“I mean it,” she says, “we can do a road trip, senior year. One last ‘hoorah’ before we’re reduced to delayed IMs and weekend Skype calls...”

 

  
“That’s assuming you don’t run off with someone you’re head over heels for and marry them straight out of high school.”

 

_Like our parents, ugh. Or get pregnant like Polly._

 

“Nonsense. I’ll always make time for you Betty Cooper.” Veronica shakes her head, then after a beat, “Though, _Veronica Valentine_ does have a nice ring to it, no?”

 

  
Betty snorts loudly. “You sound like a porn star.”

 

  
In the back of her mind, she’s wondering if Veronica and Melody are really that into each other. Because she’s totally not jealous and just wants to make sure Veronica’s happy.

 

“How’s that going anyway?” Betty asks, trying to sound unaffected. She feels Veronica shrug beside her.

 

  
“We’re just - hanging out,” she leans over, propping her head up on her elbow, and smiles “Sometimes we do yoga in her basement after Pussycat practice which...sometimes leads to some other _fun_ things...”

 

“Oh.”

 

(Okay, maybe she’s a little jealous.)

 

  
“That’s nice, I’m happy for you, V.” she smiles.

 

  
Veronica smiles back, eyes boring into Betty’s like she’s searching for something.

 

  
“Everything cool with you and your Hardy Boy?” then when Betty nods, “Then I’m happy for you too.” 

 

  
They lay there like that for what seems like hours before Veronica asks,

 

  
“Do you believe in fate, Betty?”

 

  
“Not really. Why?”

 

  
“Don’t laugh but,” Veronica rolls on her back, staring up at the ceiling, “after the closet incident - when you were mad at me? I told Archie, that from the moment we met, it felt like you and I were destined to be best friends. And how I’d missed the train to the rest of my life. Very over-dramatic right?”

 

  
“The day we got onto the River Vixens, I yelled at my mom for the first time in forever ‘cause she said girls like you and Cheryl don’t like girls like me.”

 

  
Veronica looks at her in surprise and Betty nods, continuing, “I literally stormed out of the house after defending your honor.”

 

 

“Then I had to go and mess things up. I went straight home and I swear I cried all night.”

 

  
Betty nudges her with her shoulder. “Me too.”

 

 

It honestly seems so long ago now, even though it isn’t. Betty feels like she’s changed so much. She’s _realized_ so much.

 

  
“Actually if you think about it - if we never made up the gang wouldn’t be together, my mom would probably be ten times worse, and Polly probably wouldn’t have a place to stay right now so...” finding Veronica’s hand, Betty twines their fingers together, squeezing. “Thank you. For _everything._ ”

 

  
Veronica smiles, eyes dropping to Betty’s lips in that all too familiar way, where it looks like she either wants to hug Betty or kiss her (or both). This time she settles for squeezing Betty’s hand in return.

 

  
“You know I support you no matter what, B. I lo-”

 

 

Betty cuts her off, pressing a light kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

 

“Me too.” she whispers, her heart racing.

 

 

For now, that was enough.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i had this down to be the last part but it keeps getting longer and i'm in slow burn hell right now. so i hope this word vomit made some sense? i made sure it was a long one to hold you guys till part 5 ;)
> 
> drop a comment or hmu on tumblr @crayonboxhearts


	5. heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all errors are mine, thanks for reading :)

 

  
_“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it.” Jeremiah 17:9_

 

Betty traces her finger over the words. They’d been hastily scribbled down one Sunday after church, folded into the corner of one of her diary pages. It’s been a long time since they’ve been to services, she thinks. (Not since some of the members had started gossiping about Polly being “wild” and “out of hand” and her mother had angrily come home one evening declaring she hated every single one of them). In light of everything that’s happened recently, she can’t help but remember this verse.

 

It goes against basically everything she’s ever seen in books and movies or on TV. Nevermind that your heart is actually your mind.They always tell you to _follow your heart_ , to listen to it, to dig deep and find the pieces of yourself that you’ve lost or that you’ve buried. (Betty wonders what happens if you keep digging to find there’s nothing there). They tell you that somewhere deep down you can always find the good, that you can trust it. For the most part Betty’s always believed it, she’s always trusted it. She’s always believed in trying to see the good in people too.

 

Except now that she’s out of her depth navigating this murder thing and she’s starting to understand. She can’t trust her parents. She _wants_ to trust Polly. It’s scary to think that you can even trick yourself into believing something because it’s easier than facing the truth.

 

(The black wig sitting in her locker reminds her of a night she can’t remember and she wonders if she can even trust herself.)

 

There’s relief when she’s somewhat sidetracked from dealing with the idea of her own father torturing and murdering the father of his own grandson. But as her parents’ marriage fractures over Polly the feeling of dread slowly seeps back in. The voice in the back of her mind repeating,

_It's him. It makes sense._

 

  
For the first time in forever, she hopes her heart is wrong.

 

(Sometimes she thinks of Veronica’s hands on her chest, running over her hips, her soft mouth sucking bruises into her neck.

  
She wonders if that’s another lie her heart is telling her.)

 

  
*

 

 

At lunch, Betty’s alone when Veronica stops by Josie’s table and says something that makes the other pussycats laugh. Melody laughs the loudest and it’s- well- _melodious_. Then Veronica’s laughing and smiling and touching her bare shoulder. Betty would think it’s cute if part of her didn’t want to gag. She stabs one of her remaining lettuce leaves harder than intended.

 

  
“Jealous much?” scoffs Cheryl, who forcibly slides herself next to her with her lunch tray.

 

Betty rolls her eyes.

 

  
“Don’t you have some other table to _slither_ to Cheryl?” she retorts, picking at her salad before adding, “And I’m _not_ jealous.”

 

  
She glances back up to see Veronica slide unto the bench beside Valerie, then quickly looks back down.

 

  
“And you’re a terrible liar, Elizabeth Cooper.”

 

  
“Why would I be jealous?”

 

  
Cheryl purses her lips, looking over at Josie’s table for a good minute. Betty hopes the conversation is over but in true Cheryl fashion, she was only reloading for a comeback. She’s also a bit too observant for her own good.

 

  
“A little birdie told me Veronica’s been petting some pussycat. In fact, they got a real eyeful last week, in the back of a certain someone’s Prius -which, ew.”

 

  
Betty does remember seeing the faint splotches marring Veronica’s pearl-laced neck when she went over last week. It’s weird to think about and even weirder to talk about. Especially with Veronica. But Veronica gets that Betty’s not comfortable talking about that sort of intimate stuff (at least not yet) so she tries her best to stay clear of the subject, even though she’s constantly prying for info about her and Jughead.

 

Still, she and Veronica had promised to support and not judge each other and Veronica’s been keeping her end of the bargain so far. It’s only fair for Betty to do the same.

 

  
“Well as her best friend, I’m happy for her.” she tilts her head at Cheryl, twisting her lips into a smile.

 

  
“But what about as maybe more than just her best friend?”

 

  
“In case you haven’t noticed, Cheryl, I have a boyfriend.”

 

  
“Oh, I’ve _noticed_.” Cheryl grins wickedly, draping back her hair behind one ear, “Doesn’t mean I haven’t noticed you and V making eyes at each other at cheer practice. Not to mention what occurred on my father’s prized leather chaise on sleepover night. I mean, I really should have suspected something the moment that faux lesbian stunt at tryouts just went on and on. But now I’m really wondering if it wasn’t that faux after all.”

 

  
Betty stills.

 

  
“I can’t imagine what Mommy and Daddy Dearest would think. Who knows, maybe it’d be like Jason and Polly all over again.”

 

  
For someone that’s lost their brother, she talks about him so nonchalantly sometimes that Betty doesn’t get it. Plus the Blossoms already won Polly so why was Cheryl over here? Trying to rub more salt in her wounds?

 

Anger flares inside her like that time Cheryl was in her bedroom, but in lifting her head she finds that Veronica’s looking at her, concerned. There’s no way she can hear what they’re saying from over there, but it’s just like Veronica to sense when something’s wrong. Especially with her. Betty holds her gaze, then softens.

 

  
“We’re not- it’s not...like that.” The breeze threatens to carry her voice away.

 

  
To her relief, Cheryl doesn’t seem interested in pressing any further. “If you say so,” she shrugs “But honestly Betty, green isn’t a good look on you.”

 

 

Thankfully Kevin comes to her rescue.

 

 

  
*

 

 

  
Veronica’s getting better at letting people in, but in a lot of ways still remains a mystery.

 

She low-key makes friends with kids from just about every social group Betty can think of at Riverdale High that at this point she wouldn’t be surprised if Veronica ends up being Homecoming Queen. Mostly she tells a lot of dramatic stories about New York that manage to be so personal, yet totally impersonal at the same time. People hang off her every word.

 

  
There are things Veronica would rather not talk about. Sometimes it’s about things she’s done or said, before when she was “awful”. Other times they’re about her dad. Things she knows will make herself cry. Then there are parts of herself only the gang gets to see. Parts that only Betty gets to see. And it makes her heart ache.

 

  
“Did you really not have a boyfriend back in NY?”

  
Veronica looks up from her text book. “Why does everyone find that so hard to believe?” _Because you’re you_ Betty wants to say. “I went to an all-girls private school.”

 

“Yet I specifically remember you saying you’ve tried every flavor of boy except orange?”

 

“I took test-drives but I’ve never actually pulled one out of the lot if you know what I mean.”

 

The next few words fly out of Betty’s mouth before she can stop them.

 

“Was there a girl?”

 

There’s a look that flashes in her eyes and Betty knows she’s pushed her luck tonight. Veronica opens and closes her mouth, before looking away and back to her book.

 

  
“I really need to study for this test.” she says.

 

  
Betty nods; wondering if she’ll ever talk about it.

 

 

  
*

 

 

  
“Hey Juggie,” Betty says, dropping her bag on the seat of their usual booth at Pop’s, “I thought we were supposed to meet at the Blue and Gold after school?”

 

  
Jughead sits slowly typing up something on his laptop. His hat sits skewed too far to one side it looks like it’s going to fall off and Betty wants to fix it. He looks a frustrated and slightly more disheveled than usual. 

 

  
“Change of plans.” he says, pushing his tray of fries towards her.

 

  
“Okay, but I could have sworn I saw you by the door...”

 

  
“I was. But you and Veronica were talking and it looked pretty serious so,” he continues typing, half-frowning at whatever it is he’s looking at, “Didn’t want to interrupt.”

 

  
“Well, you wouldn’t have.” she says, at which he shoots her a look like ‘Really?’ “She wouldn’t mind,” she adds.

 

  
“We aren’t exactly ‘ _bosom pals_ ’.”

 

  
“Still it’s not like she hates you or anything.” she shrugs, stuffing a fry into her mouth.

 

  
“No, she just thinks I’m the strange boy who’s infringing on her Betty time.”

 

  
Betty furrows her brows. _What was that supposed to mean?_

 

  
Almost as if he can read her mind, he continues, “Not to sound like an insecure douche, but sometimes it feels like I’m just _borrowing_ you from her.”

 

  
“Wow, is this your way of telling me you’re jealous? Is that a deal breaker for you?” She and Veronica were a matching set after all. It makes Betty wonder then, selfishly, if Melody’s feeling even a little bit of the same growing, irrational jealously she’s been feeling.

 

  
“No.” he scoffs, shaking his head. “But it’s kind of helping me get in the mood to work on this book I’m writing.”

 

  
“About me and Veronica?” Betty leans back, confused.

 

 

“About the town. About all of us.”

 

_About Jason._

 

“Oh.”

 

 

*

 

 

  
Ethel invites her and Veronica over to hang out when her parents leave town for some business conference one weekend.

 

  
Betty’s not really in the mood but Veronica insists they take advantage of it. _"When someone offers you their free indoor pool and jacuzzi you don’t say no, Betty.”_ , so of course, they go.

 

  
Veronica strips down to her black one-piece and Betty thinks it’s unfair for someone’s legs to look that good in that kind of cut. Her own coral coloured cutout swimsuit looks juvenile in comparison. Wearing a frilly red two piece, Ethel brings out Piña Coladas complete with the tiny umbrellas, and they all chill in the pool.

 

  
It doesn’t take long for all the glass doors and windows to fog, since it’s starting to get colder outside and Betty’s never been so thankful for heated pools. All the doors are closed and now no one can see them. It feels like they’re not even in Riverdale until she starts thinking about Cheryl’s large possibly unheated outdoor pool. And how easy it would be to accidentally drown in it.

 

  
“Do you think Polly’s safe at Thornhill?” Betty asks Veronica.

 

  
“B, we saw her this morning. She looks fine.”

 

  
“I know, but I still hate that she’s up there in that house with those people and not home where she belongs. I’m always worried. God, I sound like my _mom_.”

 

  
“I hear it’s haunted.” says Ethel as she sips her drink, “Do you think it’s true?”

 

  
“No.” “Yes.” They answer at once.

 

“It’s just a house some kooky interior designer that watched way too many vampire movies threw up in.” Veronica says, “The only "unfriendly spirits" there are Cheryl’s parents.”

 

Betty feels a shiver run up her spine. It’s true and it sounds even worse.

 

 

“Mom’s convinced they’re part of some pagan cult - which sounds totally insane - but after running into Nana Rose, I’m starting to believe it.”

 

  
  
This seems to peak Ethel’s interest as she floats closer to Betty.

 

 

“Can you imagine if your mom put that in the paper? Do you think Cheryl would talk?”

 

  
“I’m sure she’d be on the news like “It’s true my family dabbles in the dark arts, and on Sundays we worship Cthulhu - but we aren’t hurting anybody _#JusticeForJason!_ ””

 

  
“Okay, enough with the creepy talk,” Veronica gestures with her hands for emphasis, “I vote for some stealth Marco Polo.”

 

  
As it turns out, Veronica’s _crazy_ good at this game even with only two other people in the whole pool. Betty doesn’t know how she does it but it doesn’t seem to even take her five minutes to catch her and Ethel. Ethel isn’t as fast a swimmer so she takes longer to move around but they both get caught because one: they can’t stop giggling and two: Ethel’s got really long arms. When she eventually leaves them to check in with her parents, it’s Betty’s turn.

 

 

She tries to mentally mark how far away Veronica is before closing her eyes.

 

  
“Marco...”

 

  
“Polo!”

 

  
It’s eerily quiet apart from the very faint sound of Ethel’s playlist and the sound of the Jacuzzi nearby but Betty still can’t seem to focus.

 

  
“I feel like I’m being watched by some horribly disfigured horror movie slasher.”

 

  
Offended, Veronica splashes water at her shouting “Ugh, rude!”.

 

 

Betty whirls frantically in the water reaching out and grabbing anything she can reach. She gets the wall, Ethel’s pool noodle, and nothing but pool water.

 

“You’re _so_ off!” comes Veronica’s voice from somewhere behind her “ _Clear your mind_ \- stop thinking about whatever and try to focus on the sound of my voice.”

 

Betty turns around, stretches her arms out and takes a deep breath.

 

“Marco!”

 

When Veronica doesn’t answer, Betty opens one eye to a face full of water. She squeals and they splash and kick at each other until there’s a good enough distance between them. Veronica smiles before pushing off to come over to her, nothing but her eyes hovering over the water until she resurfaces latching onto Betty in a hug. They’re pressed right up against each other as Veronica wraps her legs around her. Betty circles her arms around her waist and they just rest their heads on each other's shoulders for a bit.

 

“You’re so tiny.” Betty giggles. Veronica’s skin feels cool under her chin but the rest of her feels so warm. Warmer than she’s felt all day.

 

 

As soon Betty gets her feet off the tile and starts to float with her, Veronica lunges forward catching her off guard and both get soaked again. When Betty comes back up her hair is all over the place, and Veronica wraps her legs around her again, using her hands to brush back the hair out of Betty’s face. Betty scrunches up her nose as they both start giggling, brushing the hair out of each other's face.

 

“You’re ridiculous.”

 

“ _You’re_ ridiculous.”

 

  
Betty stops moving them and comes to rest at a spot where she can’t be toppled again so easily. Veronica hums and just looks at her. She’s so up close Betty feels like she can see her pores. She doesn’t know where to look, so she looks everywhere. Her eyes trace across her shoulders, along the line of her neck, her cheeks her eyes, her lipstick-bare lips.

 

(The swell of her breasts against hers are the water laps between them.)

 

 

“You were so tense before,” Veronica says quietly. She rests her forearms on Betty’s shoulders, smoothing her hands up and around behind her neck, raking her fingers through the hair there, “Wasn’t this a good idea?”

 

  
Betty half-rolls her eyes and half-nods, squeezing her, “Okay, yes, Veronica. You are the _queen_ of good ideas.”

 

  
They’re too busy smiling at each other like fools, that they don’t hear Ethel open the sliding wooden door to the room. She clears her throat.

 

  
“Um, pizza’s here.”

 

  
They sit beside each other at the faux wood marble kitchen island, feeding each other slices and making weird faces. While they’re eating Ethel’s quiet until she just has to ask,

 

 

“Are you guys...”

 

  
“What?” Veronica tilts her head, completely un-phased. Betty has an idea what she wants to ask considering she saw them in the pool, and she nearly chokes on her crust.

 

 

Ethel eyes them warily before reaching for another slice.

 

  
“Nevermind.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's part 5. stay tuned for more
> 
> any and all comments are appreciated. (if you've already left kudos here feel free to leave a comment too ;)) or hmu on tumblr


	6. changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always all errors are mine & thanks for reading

 

 

  
“Are you smelling this right now?” Kevin’s broad chest puffs out and in as he takes a deep breath, “Gotta love that fresh Sweetwater air.”

  
Veronica stops walking and mimics his actions, breathing in and out exaggeratedly before catching up to them.

  
“I don’t smell anything,” she whispers, looping her arm through Betty’s.

 

The fallen branches and leaves crack and crunch under their feet as they trek through the woods. It’s the only other sound they can hear besides birds and their own breathing as the sun penetrates through the spaces in the trees above them.

  
When they’re close enough, the rushing water of Sweetwater River grows louder and Betty shivers subconsciously at the sound of it. She hasn’t been back anywhere near here since before they were looking for Polly and even with the sun out, the whole atmosphere still seems as ominous as when they watched Jason’s body being pulled out from it.

 

  
“Why are we out here again?” she asks.

 

  
Kevin twirls, hands gripping his backpack straps as he steps backward, “Because...I’m meeting Joaquin and I didn’t want my dad to be suspicious - also I thought you loved my picnic breakfasts?”

 

  
“A kid got murdered Kev- ”

 

  
“I know, _I_ was the one that found his body?” he retorts, patting her on the back with a grin, “besides, that was when I came out here at night...which is why we’re here in broad daylight now, Betty. There’s no one here.”

 

  
Betty rolls her eyes and looks to Veronica who scoffs and says, “Well everyone in this godforsaken town keeps talking about this river and I still haven’t seen it yet.”

 

  
Soon enough, they arrive at their spot not far from where Kevin parked his dad’s pickup. He unloads the multiple quilts from his bag and spreads them out on the sandy gravel in front of a large tree near the water’s edge.

 

Betty busies herself unpacking the food they brought while Veronica unbuttons her signature black cloak and sits beside her, screwing the cap off her thermos. Kevin starts leaning down to help when-

  
“Boo!”

 

Someone grabs his shoulders from behind and he clutches at his chest in shock before whirling to see Joaquin behind him. Betty and Kevin share a look.

 

“You should’ve seen the look on your face, Preppy,” he teases before half-waving to her and Veronica “Ladies,” Joaquin’s grin broadens, blue eyes glinting mischievously.

 

  
After a moment of whispering with Joaquin, Kevin turns to them and the first thing Betty notices if how pink the tips of his ears and his cheeks are. She pulls in her lips to stop herself from commenting and Veronica looks equally amused.

  
“Uh, Joaquin and I are going for a little walk, so feel free to start without us just - please don’t eat all my scones. _Again_.” he pointedly warns gesturing between his eyes and Betty with two fingers. (In Betty’s defense, the scones really were delicious the last time)

  
  
As they walk away, Betty catches Veronica staring after them, a smug smile still on her face. Further down along the shore they see him and Joaquin jostling each other a bit, laughing before Joaquin pulls Kevin into a kiss. Betty sighs.

 

  
“My mom would probably have an aneurysm if she found out we were here with Joaquin and instead of pumping him for information- ”

 

  
“Kevin’s pumping other things?” Veronica finishes with a flick of her wrist.

 

“ _Oh my god_ , V!” Betty splutters, elbowing her in the side.

 

  
Laughing, Veronica tilts back over bumping their shoulders again, “What? I mean, he’s pretty cute right?”

 

  
They sit shoulder to shoulder against the tree trunk and start gingerly eating their crust-less sandwiches to stave off the urge to open the box of breakfast scones on Kevin’s quilt.

 

(In the cool quiet air, Betty can’t tell what’s louder; the sound of the river or the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.)

 

  
“Speaking of cute guys...” Veronica says licking mayonnaise off the corner of her mouth, “You never told me your Trev was Valerie’s brother.”

 

  
Betty smiles, nose crinkling “Oh yeah, he’s really sweet,”

 

“But?”

 

  
“Why does there have to be a ‘but’? There’s no but.”

 

  
“What about Reggie?”

 

  
“Why are you asking me all these questions?”

 

  
“Trev Archie and Jughead are like light years apart. I guess I’m just trying to figure out your type. Kevin’s isn’t hard to pin down, but _you_...” she intones, “you’re full of surprises Betty Cooper.”

 

  
Veronica grins, eyes meeting Betty’s before drifting down to her lips briefly in that familiar way. Her own eyes lowered to Veronica’s upturned lips Betty replies,

 

 

“Maybe I don’t have a type.”

 

 

*

 

  
“Okay,” Betty announces, clasping her hands together. Swiveling on her heels to face Jughead and Veronica, she asks “What else do we know?”

 

  
She thought having them both here would be awkward, but surprisingly they’ve been normal - _friendly_ , even. It’s a little unnerving like there’s something major that happened that she missed but she’s mostly just happy that they’re all in this together now. For real.

 

  
Jughead moves to stand beside the murder board, pointing to each yellow post-it note bearing the names of the suspects with a long stalk of red liquorice. 

 

“The Coopers and the Blossoms have a hundred year old blood feud, but then the Blossoms also upset one Hiram Lodge after putting a cork on their illicit stream of dirty maple money. ”

 

Veronica makes a face.

 

  
“We still don’t know what the money was for,”

 

  
“Or why Mr. Blossom would want your dad in jail.”

 

  
“The syrup thickens...” Jughead muses, leaning against the desk.

 

“Bets didn’t your mom say Jason’s body had rope marks? Like he’d been tied up, maybe even tortured?” he asks. Betty nods and Veronica frowns even more at the thought. “Maybe the Blossoms are hiding something?”

 

  
 _Everyone’s hiding something._ Betty shivers. “They already covered up Great Grandpappy Cooper’s murder - who knows what other dark secrets they’re covering up,”

 

  
“Then I guess these are our biggest suspects.”

 

  
“Daddy could have hired FP to do it, after all he was already in jail when Jason went missing and he's gotten FP to do things for him before,” Veronica says, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

  
Betty sits straighter, casting a nervous glance at Jughead. She can see the way his eyebrows start to furrow in anger and places a hand on his arm to calm him. He opens his mouth in protest but Veronica holds up her hand.

 

  
Resting her cup down, she comes over to them cross-armed with a hushed voice, “Look I know you love your dad and you want him to be innocent but-” she takes a breath and looks down, “You have to look at the bigger picture here...our dads have done some _shady shit_ that makes them crookeder than Clifford Blossom’s wigs. There’s a very real possibility that might include things that may or may not be connected to Jason’s murder.”

 

  
Jughead physically tenses (Betty can feel it when he balls his fist) but Veronica’s stare doesn’t waver. After a while, he folds in submission.

 

“Guess we’re the Crooked Dads Club huh,” he croaks.

 

 

It turns out later that, while FP and Hiram didn’t kill Jason, they were very much involved -at least tangentially- and Betty does everything in her power to keep both her friends sane.

 

 

  
*

 

 

  
They’re sitting with Kevin at lunch when Jughead spots Archie and Veronica. Betty doesn’t notice it at first but it’s when she looks up and sees Jughead with an honest to god smile(?) on his face, that she follows his line of sight to see them walking over. Veronica’s got one of her hands resting in the bend of his arm and the other pressed to his shoulder as they laugh; like they just stepped out of some fashion spread in Teen Vogue.

 

  
It’s a far cry from how moody he was after Valerie dumped him almost two weeks ago. Perfectly on the mend, which is something she can’t say for whatever bond he was developing with the Pussycats.

 

  
If Valerie’s quiet, Josie doesn’t want anything to do with him, and Melody looks like she wants to straight up strangle him.

 

(Things between Veronica and Melody end just as quietly but on much better terms.)

 

“Look at that,” Jughead whispers, eyeing the two of them, “he doesn’t even look that happy when I order pizza.”

 

  
Kevin quirks one eyebrow and leans closer to them mouthing, “Did I miss something?”

 

  
Before he can get his answer though, Archie and Veronica arrive and he leans back quickly turning his attention to his lunch tray.

 

They both smile at her as they sit, but Veronica avoids her gaze quickly, turning attention to Archie who starts talking about working on music in his garage (since the pussycats have pretty much ousted him from the music room with their extended song writing sessions) while Kevin and Jughead smile and nod.

  
Betty can’t help but notice the way Archie leans closer to Veronica while she talks, or the way he tilts his head and smiles at her fondly. And she doesn’t want to even process the other things she finds herself picking up on Veronica’s part. She wishes she could switch her brain off.

 

The hand resting in her lap folds into a half-fist and she has to stop herself.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Jughead asks, resting a hand on her thigh under the table.

 

  
“Just...thinking about all the things I have to do for Principal Weatherbee this week,” she lies.

 

  
If Veronica was helping Archie through his slump, that’s fine. And he’s allowed to like her and she’s allowed to like him.

 

  
(If they start dating, it’s not like there’s anything she can do to prevent it anyway.)

 

  
It's only fair that she be as supportive as Veronica is of her and Jughead.

 

  
Deep down though, she just wishes the thought of Archie and Veronica together still didn’t make her feel a little bit weird.

 

 

*

 

  
“Any word on your dad?”

 

  
Betty sits up when Veronica re-enters the room after saying goodnight to her mom. Veronica throws herself on the bed dramatically and rolls onto her side, black hair covering up her face.

 

  
“There’s a good chance he’ll be released..and if he is, he’s either coming here,” she pauses and sighs “or I’m being shipped back to New York.”

 

  
Betty rests a hand on her hip. She pushes a finger through the loop of the bow tied at the waist of Veronica’s satin negligee and grabs the other end, tugging slightly. It had only been three months and like Kevin said, it was hard imagining what it was like before she came.

 

She slipped into their little ragtag group as if they’ve all known each other the whole time. Betty can’t even imagine being a River Vixen without her, though it’s something she’d always wanted on her own.

 

“Would you want to?” A pause, “Go back to New York?” Betty asks, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

 

Veronica doesn’t respond, doesn’t move. Betty rubs her thumb comfortingly over the slight jut of her hip bone.

 

“I mean, you’re always talking about all the stuff you miss...”

  
Silence.

  
"Wait, are you _crying_?" Betty asks incredulously, before smoothing her hand over Veronica’s cheek, pushing back the hair behind her ear.

 

  
Veronica turns her head more leaning into the feeling of Betty’s thumb stroking along her cheekbone. “I’m not, I just -” her eyes shut, “Yes, I miss New York but -as shitty as this town is- if I leave, I’ll be _miserable_ and I’m afraid of the kind of person I’ll become when I am. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m just Veronica. Not Hiram Lodge’s daughter. _Me_.”

 

  
Betty nods. It’s something she’s felt ever since Veronica swept into Pop’s that night and all the events since then. She’s felt seen, noticed, _known_. More than just the good daughter that always followed her mother’s commands. Brave enough to do things she’d never thought she’d do.

 

  
“And I’ll miss you, obviously. And Archie and Kevin. Hell, even that sourpuss boyfriend of yours,” Veronica adds.

 

  
“Then I won’t let you leave,” Betty offers, laying down beside her, “And even if you do, it’s not like we still can’t talk or still be friends. There’s internet, messaging, video chats-”

 

  
Veronica frowns, “It’s not the same.”

 

  
Turning over on their backs, they both stare at the ceiling, basking in the comfortable silence.

 

  
“I'm sure it’ll all work out,” Betty reassures her, “we’re soulmates right?”

 

 

"Yeah...B and V forever."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little longer update. it's a bit of a filler, but still a perfect chance to share your thoughts so far. love it? hate it? please feel free to drop a comment or contact me on my [tumblr](http://crayonboxhearts.tumblr.com) and thanks again for reading :)


	7. author's note

Sorry, this is just an author's note and not an actual update but I just wanted to let anyone who's still checking for this fic that I haven't abandoned it. I've just been swamped with school and other stuff.

The next chapter is already half written and tbh I was considering waiting until the show started airing again, but I might be even busier then. So I'll try to update this soon. Once again, thank you guys for reading, commenting, kudo-Ing, etc. I love reading your thoughts and feedback. Thank you so much 


	8. dark

  
In the end, finding out who killed Jason doesn’t restore the balance Betty thought it would.

 

  
She thought that solving Jason’s murder would be in everyone’s best interest and that the dark cloud that had eclipsed their town since July 4th would just dissipate and things could go back to normal.

 

  
But if anything, it had torn through the facade of secrets and lies the very town itself seemed to be built on. Things that had long been festering now making way for a darkness more terrifying and foreboding than the thick black smoke billowing from Thornhill the night it mysteriously caught ablaze.

 

  
The mere fact that her parents and Polly refuse to acknowledge all the messed up stuff that’s happened is troubling enough in itself. Them pretending everything’s okay now makes her so upset it feels like her head might explode. The fresh, stinging, marks in her palms is herself shielding the blast; a physical representation of all the things she wants to scream at them but can’t.

 

  
(Dark terrible thoughts that she wishes would go away.)

 

  
When Archie calls her in tears, shaken in a way she’s ever heard him, voice hoarsely repeating “It should have been me, Betty.” it’s even more abundantly clear that things in Riverdale aren’t the same.

 

  
And maybe they never would be.

 

 

*

 

  
“Guess I’m back to being the lonely gay of Riverdale High,” Kevin laments, dropping his bag on the table in the rec room before turning his head again to watch Moose and Midge where they’re standing by the doorway.

 

  
“As devilishly handsome as Joaquin was, he was a criminal right? And you can do better,” Veronica pops a strawberry into her mouth, “Will do better, sorry,” she amends at Kevin’s incredulous look.

 

  
“And you’re not alone, Kev. You still have us.” Betty adds.

 

  
“That’s sweet Betty but unless Archie has a gay epiphany and decides to dump Veronica for me, I have no interest in becoming a fifth wheel,” he says matter-of-factly, to which Veronica’s mouth hilariously drops open. “No offense.”

 

  
 _He does have a point_ , Betty thinks. Apart from the handful of people she now knows aren’t completely straight, Kevin really is the only out gay guy anyone knows at their school. Maybe if they hadn’t found out Joaquin was involved with the Jason case, Kevin would still have his boyfriend and they could all hang out and be happy, like normal teenagers. But if they never questioned Joaquin, they never would have solved the case (which - despite how uneasy Betty feels about the aftermath - was still ultimately the right thing to do).

 

  
Veronica puts down her fruit container and smooths her hands over her deep navy blue skirt. “Actually, speaking of Archie...I was wondering if you two could help me pick out something nice for him? Since you know...”

 

  
“I don’t think _buying_ something is going to make Archie feel better right now, V.” Betty shakes her head.

 

  
“Didn’t you already send flowers?” asks Kevin.

 

  
“Yes but -” Veronica presses her hands together, lifting her shoulders into kind of a shrug. “I don’t feel like it’s enough...I feel horrible.”

 

  
“You somehow got through to Cheryl of all people, and I don’t remember you buying her anything.”

 

  
She sighs. “That’s because I didn’t have anything to feel guilty about, Kevin. We Lodges excel at spending obscene amounts of money than showing emotions or-or giving condolences...like, am I supposed to be all ‘Gee Archie, I’m really sorry my dad maybe probably put a hit on your dad’?”   


 

Kevin looks like he’s about to say that’s exactly what she should say but Betty cuts him off with a glare. She lays her hand on Veronica’s shoulder.

 

  
“Just continue being there for him V,” she says. “ _Be you_.”

 

 

*

 

Betty carries some of the fresh flowers her mother bought to replace the wilting ones in Fred’s room.

 

  
The wrapping paper crinkles in her hands as she steps, breathing shakily but evenly, trying not to squeeze them too hard. They’re a mix of roses carnations and lilies of all sorts and she tries not to think about how familiar this feels. It reminds her of when her parents brought her to see her dying grandfather. But _maybe that is a good thing to feel_ , she decides when she steps out of the elevator. It’s good that Fred feels like family after all these years of living next door.

 

  
Her heart starts to crumble in her chest when she spots Archie standing by the door. There had been several low points in their lives - pits that they’d helped each other out of - like after Archie’s mom left, but Betty’s sure she’s never seen Archie like this before. He’s never been this quiet or defeated and it pains her to see him like this.

 

  
As she mentally runs through possible dialogue in her head, she’s about halfway to him when she realizes she doesn’t even really know what to say. Her hands start gripping the paper a little harder than she should and it crinkles loudly in the quiet hallway. She’s starting to get what Veronica’s talking about. Comforting is hard when all the heartfelt ‘sorry’s’ and encouraging messages have already been said and now there’s nothing any of them can do but wait.

 

  
What she wanted to say before all sounds like a cliched mess now.

 

  
“Hey,” she greets, resting a hand on his shoulder.

 

  
Archie only nods in response. She scans his face quickly, noticing the way his mouth is folded into a sharp line, and the slight bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in days. Even in the dimmed light of the doorway, she can tell he’s been crying. A lot.

 

  
“How is he?” she asks, looking in the same direction he is toward his dad lying in the hospital bed.

 

  
The dull blip of the heart monitor punctuates the space and silence between them as he tries to gather the words.

  
Sighing, Archie rubs at the back of his head. “Dr. Valentine says he’s improved, but he’s not out of the woods yet.”

 

  
“It’s gonna be okay, Arch.”

 

  
Quietly she goes to the bedside, carefully taking the old flowers out of the vase on the small table beside the bed. Returning to the door, she loops her arms through Archie’s and leans her head against his shoulder. They stay like that for God knows how long, till the moment is broken by her phone vibrating in her pocket.

 

  
“Okay so...Jughead’s on his way with some food,” she rubs her hands comfortingly along his arm while scrolling through her messages, “And Veronica’s in a meeting with -”

 

  
“Her dad’s lawyers - I know,” Archie interjects with a frown.

 

  
“You know you can’t just freeze her out right? Her dad’s back, yes, but she _really_ cares about you, Archie...And she wants to help.”

 

  
He presses a hand to his eyes squeezing them shut briefly, “I really care about her too Betty, I just - I’m not sure if I’m in the right head space right now. Not with my dad-”

 

  
“Then drop the silent act and tell her that, not-”

 

  
They move apart suddenly; startled when someone behind them clears their throat. Turning they see Jughead with two big white bags filled with takeout from Pop’s. They’re lucky it isn’t a school night because the clock on the wall behind him hits 9. (Though Betty’s pretty sure her mom’s on her way to pick her up if she wasn’t outside already.)

 

  
“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” he asks furrowing his brows in that way that makes Betty roll her eyes.

 

  
“No? Okay. Who’s hungry?”

 

  
In between bites in the canteen area, Betty keeps stealing glances at her phone, but the screen remains black. Veronica sends her apologies but doesn’t show.

 

 

*

 

  
With Archie and Veronica both being unusually quiet and withdrawn, all she wants is for things to be alright again.

 

Betty keeps thinking about it till it affects her to the point where sleep is becoming as elusive as it was when she purposefully stopped taking her medication. (Even though she’s pretty sure she’s on track with all that now). Her brain just won’t rest. It’s like there’s no position for her to twist her body or angle her pillows to get her brain to shut off, and it’s frustrating.

 

That’s how she ends up shooting desperate late night texts to anyone who’s awake enough to respond. Jughead jokes about scoring pot from his newfound Southside High friends to calm her down but Betty doesn’t find anything funny about it (Not with the way he looked trying on that serpent jacket - the quiet thrill in his eyes at the way it hugged his shoulders like a second skin). And Kevin only lasts so long before she knows he’s fallen asleep.

 

Some nights she’d talk to Veronica if Veronica wasn’t so hell-bent on acting like she’s fine when Betty knows she’s not. _And Archie..._ she huffs out a sigh, rolling over on her other side and tugging the covers right up to her ears. Some days he’s so on edge, it’s like he’s a completely different person. Then on others, it’s like he’s in a daze, not listening to anything they’re saying to him.

 

She fixes her gaze on her nightlight plugged into the wall in front of her and wills herself to stop imagining the gun pointed at Archie; of him lying on the floor at Pop’s in a river of blood.

 

 

 _It could have been me._ Archie’s voice echoes in her head. _It should have been me_.

 

 

*

 

  
A week later Veronica dips out of post-gig party plans with Josie and the other cats - which isn’t worrying in and of itself - but still very unlike her. Betty tries calling her and it _ring ring rings_  straight to voicemail. For the fifth time.

 

  
It’s Smithers that eventually returns her call to confirm Veronica said she’d be out tonight but hasn’t left the apartment all evening. Breezing past him at the door, she lets out a polite “Thank you” before heading up the stairs. She hesitantly pushes Veronica’s door open to reveal her unmade bed covered with clothes.

  
“Veronica?” Betty whispers, “V, are you in here?”

 

  
“Veronica isn’t here right now.” she hears coming from the other side of the bed by the small walk-in closet.

 

  
As she walks around to look she sees Veronica slumped on the floor in between the open closet doors a faux fur mink slung around her shoulders, an open wine bottle in her hand.

 

  
“Oh, V...” she coos, sinking down to join her on the carpet. They can barely fit in the space between the two wooden doors but Betty shimmies closer until Veronica’s practically resting on her. Veronica lets her head roll onto Betty’s shoulder and sighs, dark hair brushing against her neck.

 

  
“I didn’t feel like going out tonight.”

 

  
“Yeah, Josie told me. She was worried when you didn’t show, so she asked me to check if you were okay...” Betty watches Veronica bring the bottle to her lips as she asks, “Are you?”

 

  
“I’m good.” Veronica smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. There’s that far away look Betty’s come to know as her friend putting her walls up. But she’s also come to know that given time Veronica will open up when she’s ready.

 

Betty worries her lip watching Veronica take gulp after gulp. Veronica shifts then, raising up off Betty a bit and holds the bottle out. Betty can’t make out the label in the moonlight but she’s sure it’s expensive given the occasional glint some fancy lettering picked up in the light.

 

  
“My mom told me not to touch this...She bought it for my dad as a welcome home gift.” Veronica says smugly, tilting the bottle towards Betty. “Want some?”

 

  
From the look on her face, Betty doesn’t have the heart to say no.

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading, thanks for being patient, thanks for commenting. I know this one was a bit of a filler again but I hope to make it up in the next update.
> 
> (also, funnily enough, this chap was written before the new ep aired so any similarities are coincidental)


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